Frustrated

I’m so tired right now. I haven’t been able to write for a while because so much has been going on. Our beloved uncle passed away, an old friend passed away, an old old friend I grew up with her & her family & her brother passed away & a dear old friend is in a home because she has alzheimer’s. My heart is broken, yet I’m comforted by the bible’s promise of a resurrection hope. It’s the loving that drive me insane & cause my heart to feel heavy.

(Some of) My husbands family makes me want to flee the state as far as possible & never see or hear their name again. I want to cry today but I have to be strong for my husband. They hurt his feelings. I want to kick, scream, yell beat & die. Why do I let them affect me. I wish some of them would go away. But my husband holds out hope that certain ones will change. I have been betrayed so much I have lost hope in people. I am blessed with a handful of good friends but my thoughts, these thoughts are my secret to write about. I don’t want to give some people the luxury of even saying their name.

I want so much to cry & run but I can’t. My body is broken. I’m in so much pain. I did 10 minutes of exercise & I’m beat up. Just needed to ramble out my inner rage before I lose my cool.

Today will get better.

Thanks for stopping by…

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